voices ascending like death
in slow motion, mix with my scotch
I sign below perforated lines
where your name used to be
piled newspapers, stacked casseroles
strangers pat my shoulders
time grows weary of passing
as I follow your fading smell.
Faster.
——-
Above 42 for Yeah Write Gargleblaster #176 – Top row seven
A beetle with earrings 
Ooh… ‘Where your name used to be’.. Haunting and sad at the same time. Props.
Amazing. So much emotion.
Powerful stuff! That last line is a kicker. Nice write!
So sentimental, and the last word has got so much punch.
Very deft word-painting of the story. I love this powerful opener, “voices ascending like death/in slow motion.”
So beautiful. You’ve captured the agony of loss really well.
Very powerful. The lines ‘where your name used to be’ and ‘as I follow your fading smell’ say so much. Really like the way you portray the pain of loss.
Agree with Suzanne. You’ve captured loss so well. It’s almost an out-of-body experience with so much buzzing around you, and you’re just going through motions. Well done.
I felt your words in my heart.
emotional. powerful
Exactly what GennaClaire said. You did a wonderful job capturing the worst of emotions.
This felt to me like one of those speeded-up videos where the person in the center stands still but everything around her/him zooms past. I’m going back to read it again to see why it came across to me that way.
So sad…the loss is poignant!
Oh, yes. Time grows weary of passing. Also love the line where your name used to be < 3
Wow. A stark, perhaps numbed picture of loss. The casserole dishes and papers are such evocative images. (Also want to add that I love your blog design — so crisp, like your writing.)