unexpected

Rosie requested me to tidy her yard and instead, had me listen to her love story. With my father. Over a beer. Afterwards, when I walked over to the flower-bed, she said, “another time, David. Say, visit me again?”

I saw the same longing in her eyes, that rests in mine. I figure, Sheila might have noticed the resemblance in me but she dismissed it. Sam is incapable of loving a boy who suddenly exists. Rosie is the only one who saw me.

I am used to indifference; but how to confront love which is thicker and quicker than blood?

Rosie, I will visit you. Again.

———

Word Count: 110

Above in response to voice week 2013 – voice 5

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12 thoughts on “unexpected

  1. “to feel” might be clearer if it is “of feeling” I think, but this is really subtle. I like how we’ve been in his head three out of five times, but each time we have felt different things through his lens. Well done!

    1. Actually, I write and then I forget to edit – Sam is incapable to love, is what I meant, that should save me some words too :P, Thanks so much for editing throughout this contest and helping me.

      1. Hm, I still think “incapable” is the wrong type of word to fit with “to” but being me… I’m unable to say why. I could be wrong, but it’s what my uh… subconscious grammarian says. “Unable to love” or “incapable of love” both sound right to me.
        Right or wrong, though, it gets the point across.
        I hope I was more helpful than confusing. It has been a pleasure reading these. 🙂

  2. Aww…so warm, so sweet. A bit awkward hearing the story of one’s own procreation, but all’s well and good. Great storyline this week, certainly one of the best I’ve read. Thanks for everything and see you next time!

  3. Am I the only one who found this a little sad? My heart went out to Sheila, how she is unsure of David being alive…and that Rosie (of the two) seems to have benefitted out of this chance encounter, but if David longs for the same as Rosie, who am I to grumble? lol another great addition. 🙂

  4. I like the sense of hope in this voice, the commitment.. He doesn’t know how to face this love, but he’s willing to try. Great job!

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