Sometimes..

Sometimes he forgets me or so I think… my name is like a pebble in a vast sea of memories but rests comfortably at a depth that usually surfaces a day later. Sometimes he tries to tell that he loves me more than anyone else in this world and while his lips struggle to form the words, his wet eyes and his fingers stroke my hair with extreme tenderness that I know can only come from him

Sometimes we sit outside on our favorite red plastic chairs holding hands, watching the rain.

Sometimes he tells me about the days when his means were limited and the first thing after receiving his salary was to buy four cans of milk powder and cereal so that there was always enough food for me to last for the entire month. Sometimes he confesses that he is guilty of  favoring me more than my brother.

Sometimes we remain distant to not let words contaminate our love and our five senses limit what we feel. Sometimes we simply laugh at age-old jokes targeted towards my mother and then we cry hard that time has passed without a whisper.

Sometimes he closes his eyes and tells me that he is afraid to die. Sometimes he tells me that his late father awaits in another world. Sometimes when the pressure of tumor rises in his brain, he gathers his grace and concedes that death sounds as a relief.

Sometimes I see the sparkling wisdom about the endless mystery of life and death in my father’s  otherwise aged and tired eyes and I wonder of my mortality – standing in his place years later with my child, going through the same cycle of love, loss and hope – struggling to express our connection as life slips away and death smiles upon, yet feeling content and happy that in spite of all the shortcomings and sufferings, we existed in a space-time coordinate of this cosmos and life happened to us.

———————————————–

Word count: 329

Above in response to Trifecta writing challenge: word used is GRACE, reflecting the third definition

1 a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
b : a virtue coming from God
c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
2 a : approval, favor <stayed in his good graces>
b archaic : mercy, pardon
c : a special favor : privilege <each in his place, by right, notgrace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling>
d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
e : a temporary exemption : reprieve

c : ease and suppleness of movement or bearing

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36 thoughts on “Sometimes..

  1. Yes, repeating sometimes really did work well. Because when we think, we do go round and round with a particular theme in our heads. This piece is written as if we are taking a peek into the narrator’s innermost thoughts. Very well done.

  2. I also like the repetition of sometimes. I loved the tenderness of her thoughts toward her father and the acknowledgement that while death is inevitable, contentment can be found.

  3. It’s like you peeked inside my heart with this piece. This is so wonderfully touching, and it hits close to home for me right now. Simply excellent writing!! Thank you:)

  4. Oh jeez this stabbed at my heart. Beautiful and heartbreaking. Brings to mind so many emotions and memories for me. Lovely.

  5. Beautifully written and I loved the idea of being fortunate enough to exist in a space-time coordinate of this cosmos. Too often we think there has to be more. You are right – we need to just appreciate that life happened to us. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

  6. I know this might seem trite. But sometimes I already feel like that with my son. Or I see into the future our relationship…. this was really moving. Really.

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