As the days are melting out of hibernation into liquid summer; I am re-visiting my thoughts on winter – the dull, gray season of extra sleep; the one with the embedded smell of mothballs in quilts and wool. There are layers everywhere – layers of clouds, of clothes, of snow, of inactivity. I wished to get it over and yet I miss some of its simplicity and lethargy as spring rolls in.
Winter will never fascinate me, yet I will miss it. I will miss the spicy aroma of ginger tea in a thermos, the whiff of hot, Indian snacks and the wonder of late mornings diffusing into evenings without an afternoon in between. I will miss the crimson glow and heat of my fireplace – my feet stuck out while watching the tube and my palms safely tucked inside the shawl, walking around as armless – avoiding things to do. I will miss my woolen slippers and the comfortable slip and sensation of my feet over the white, shinning fur. I will miss the exotic incense of the burning wood at a far away place and its fragrance reaching me; tingling my senses in some erotic way. I will miss inventing dreams while lying in bed, tossing over for the night to finish. I will miss the yawning shower head working industriously to fill the mist in my bathroom. I will miss the hand-woven gloves and caps, swelling with my warm flesh within them and I will miss the occasional chirp, the skeleton trees lit with Christmas lights and the timeless black and white combinations between earth and the sky.
I will miss winter because there will not be any more inertia. Along with thousands of species who wake up and rub their eyes to a warm sun and green grass, I will be up and running. I will be a bird migrating from a land of dilly-dallying to a brighter, warmer place of high activity and no excuses. I will miss my bulky wardrobe – my ability to cover up anything and everything under a sweater or a poncho. I will miss the cold steering and frozen seat of my car. I will miss counting seconds to let the heater warm up the blood in my veins. I will miss winter because it will take away my waiting for the spring. While some of us are good at enjoying the moment, rest of us are better at pausing in expectation of better things.
As the earth turns and moves, I wonder about life on the other end of the globe – where winter is about to set foot; where people might be saying goodbye to summer, pulling their toys, plants and pets in, to prepare for a monochromatic season. While the vibrant, the colorful, prodigal summer always lures us, it is the season of idleness that makes us want a warmer sense of ourselves.
And it is that desire to feel warm again, I will miss the most.