I can’t LOL anymore …

Daily Prompt: The Social Network

One of the posts that I wrote sometime back related to the social network and loneliness in our new and “connected” society – a side of multifaceted prism of our lives:


<Ting> I am online.


I am connected.

Connected? To what?

Contacts, silly! I am Networking as we speak.

To pull in favors?

Yes – favors of all kind, some not too moral,ethical but …. well, you get the picture.

Yes, I guess. So, did you tweet today?

Yep, it’s a re-tweet from a CEO of some fortune-500 company.  I bet he is doing the same thing as I am. Usually, I pull in a quote from less known writers, foreign leaders; it gets the discussion going. Followers pile up one way or other.

Of course kid, a nice profile picture and some odd hobbies help. The overall collage gets people get interested in you. Especially women, they dig this stuff.  <Smug face>

Really? That's all it takes?

Aye! Look at my following. 100+ and counting and I started not too long ago. . I am thinking LinkedIn should have an attribute/skill column which showcases your social networking skill. After all, it’s all about people, no?

You are a star!

That is an understatement <Smiles>. Arrogance is the keyword. Publicize your self. Publicize your virtues and  throw in a bit of your vices as if they are new virtues. Create a great mix; a believable mix. Someone in this big planet will relate to you or to the story you are building up. As more people follow suit, the story builds up on its own and you can stand back and enjoy the show.

I tell you kid, attention sells more than love.  Keep giving it to them and they will continue eating out of your palm. <Know it all Grin>

Hmm, but why not relate to you as a person? As another human? Why not meet you in  cafe' or talk over phone or shake hands with you in real life?

The truth my dear friend is:  it is more exciting to know someone’s mind than actually knowing them. Reality does not have a “Like” button, neither it is a link that can be “Shared” . It is burdened with expectations and mishaps. You have to look good, hold a secure job to have real friends. Real relationships take time and effort and responsibility bankrupts you of pleasure now and then. On the other hand, here, everything is picture perfect. Everyone’s kid is bright, everyone’s spouse is lucky to have them and everyone loves their life and job. And they can still seek others!

Rarely, people share their genuine problems online (not the ones like  I was stuck in traffic for three hours or my cell died while I my car broke down or I have no time to cook because I am working even at home)  and it is a good thing because one, it prevents them looking like a loser and second, they know that they cannot find a solution for it by being  just “connected”.  They’d have to do some real hard work to resolve it; curb it.

But even then, why should they give up an online  dream/presence which impeccably dresses them up at no cost?  This is the new age, kid. Even, love and hate are digital – embrace it.

How do I embrace something I cannot feel?

Ugh, you have no future, kid!  TTYL.

Oh,I know what TTYL means ...it is to disappear without any explanation. Wait ..before you go, tell me - what will be your Facebook status?

<Pause> It will be – LOL!


Laugh out loud, kid!

OK, OK. Just LOL? Why?

Because it will make everyone curious and they will comment on it. And in the process, I will get to hear a joke or some argument or see a glimpse of real life hidden behind my phone/laptop screen. Did I mention – it always fetches comments! Just not post it too often; maybe once a month. I have a stash of posts that I recycle.

Oh! Hmmm, LOL....

Actually kid, the memory of gratification is even shorter  than gratification itself. No one remembers much about old posts except the ones that managed to create hostility. Funny thing is, they remember the hostility better than its cause.

Here, everyone wants to say something even if no one wishes to listen. They all want responses not critique, it’s a strange, pretend I-love-you world.

Welcome to social networking where almost all emotions are described in three alphabets!

Today, LOL… is all I want to say …. it is hardly qualifies as a … conversation… but…..

<Silence> ……

< Almost a whisper> Yet...  you want to post LOL ..... and not something like I am lonely...Never mind.. you don't want to look like a loser..

Kiddo, the fact is that I have become unfit in the real world because I am a wreck. All my life, I have tried hard to get noticed but that never worked with real people. Here, it is different – everyone likes me because I am around to “like” or “comment” on every post. I am ready to follow or be followed.

But at the end of the day, it is still all distant and so perfect that you want a poke of reality to contaminate it – a hug, damp feeling of tears, sound of laughter…

Online life has no waiting and hence no coming around because everything is immediate. It is like having doors everywhere with no spaces in between to stay, to root, to bloom. There is only endless movement.

Yet, in spite of all the crap, I am hoping that I will laugh out loud today. It has not happened in a long time.  Hope is what keeps bringing me back here, over and over again.. maybe something new will be posted; maybe I will see someone interesting …..

It ain't hope because it never gets better. It smells like a vile addiction and if it is all about waiting and hoping, why not go back to real world?

<Silence> …….

<Silence> ……. <Loud sniff>

Anyways, I hope you laugh ... out loud.....sorry, LOL. TTYL!

Thanks for talking, kid.

<Silence> .......

<Beep> Your online session with your “self” has ended. Thanks for participating in our trial runs. We welcome suggestions/feedback to improve and enhance our new software ©Conscience_1.7.

Conclusion : ©Conscience_1.7  has tagged you as a lonely_loser_215.

Recommendations : Your task is to make a real acquaintance in next three weeks. If you are successful, you will earn a thousand points. That will enable you to have another online session with the latest version of ©Conscience_2.0.  Good luck and TTYL!

©Conscience_1.7 : We are constantly evolving so that you can,too. Terms and conditions apply.





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