While reading Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed, I wondered about the word extraordinary. I am only 14% done according to my kindle but in that limited content, I have traversed an ordinary woman going through extra-ordinary circumstances of death, grief, drugs and finally finding herself through a journey. Some of these situations are destiny’s choice and some are her own. While I am astonished at her resilience to get up and dust away her shortcomings every time a setback almost ruins her; I cannot help but wonder about my journey which lacks the luster from such rare phenomenon.
I have not taken upon any big resolves at times of crisis to find myself. There have been quite a bit of sufferings, illnesses and deaths; there have been layoffs; there has been a lot of financial crisis (almost never-ending) and now I await the time when my kids might oppose every sane thing I will suggest, making life more interesting. In all this mayhem, I never had the opportunity rather flexibility to make a wrong turn or to sink myself in a habit that was destructive though the idea was most certainly alluring. I always had to almost think right; most certainly act right and bear the responsibility to play the hand – destiny had given me. This is not to diminish the ones who get lost – what matters in the end is that they are able to find themselves and I deeply respect the strength of their inner self.
I have come across several, amazing blog posts and books of revival and restoration from vices, single parenthood issues, grief and everything that can go wrong but I cannot say the same about my life. It is what it is. Life. Waves and turbulence of all kinds hitting the shore – finding way – destroying some and clearing others. I haven’t run a marathon for some cure; I haven’t hiked in search of my lost self and I haven’t revived myself in a way that is noteworthy but I believe, I have made good choices to keep my life uneventful. I have stayed away from what could hurt myself and the ones I love.
Day after day, I like to do uneventful things of cooking, cleaning, working and fulfilling my duties. When bad news comes by, I do my best to contain the damage; cry in a corner and go beyond from even what I expect from myself and then I forget about it and continue. I am never too busy to find time to do what I love but never at the cost of what I should be doing. I never find it hard to change my plans at the last-minute to accommodate what is needed and I understand the difference between urgent and important. It helps me sleep peacefully with a soft snore even though it sounds dull and timid.
I always applaud people who take risks in life and sail in stormy winds and eventually have a story to tell, inspire and motivate others and even themselves at times. It moves me by miles but at the same time, is also reassuring that keeping a life ordinary takes a lot of effort, patience and resilience. No matter where we have been, we all wish to return to a place that is safe, peaceful and happy and continues to be so. I nourish one such home. The effort to not give in to temptations; the effort to hear the voice of conscience in conflicts and the effort to act in the right manner even if it breaks your heart and makes your life forgettable, is something to feel proud of. That is the extraordinary lining to the simple cloud of my life and I am sure of many others’.