I thought we’d never come back from that one


Write about anything you’d like, but make sure the post includes this sentence:

“I thought we’d never come back from that one.”

As I stood outside the ICU comforting my sobbing mother and holding hands with my grief-stricken brother – waiting to hear the inevitable about my father who had been fighting for life for past few weeks, time seemed stationary and space seemed confined to the four grey walls – old and worn. After an eternal wait of few moments, an attendant gave us the news. Everyone broke down except me as I was holding on to something more – like a pillar stopping waves of  grief from every side but not releasing my own. To say it was a solemn moment, would be an understatement for I realized what being numb was, for the first time in my life – numb in grief; numb to find words and numb to cry. I felt I should not let it go, for it was the only thing I’d have connected to my father before and after his death – a crossover point.

Several days went by and everyday, every moment – the three of us went by our business but we all felt the uneasy vacuum, the overwhelming silence of emptiness and while each one of us cried at his/her own convenience, I thought we’d never come back from that one, we’d never be the same and we’d never recover.

But, like a lot of things, I was wrong. It has been two and a half years since my father passed away and while at times, the grief swallows every little happiness, I have traveled a few steps from the crossover point, so did my mother and my brother. We all have accepted his departure for that has been a part of his living, his love and his legacy.

Now when I think of him, I try to smile wider than my few tears for his life means much more than his death.

If you haven’t lost sleep over a wish, you haven’t understood what a dream is;
If you haven’t shed tears in loneliness, you haven’t understood what togetherness is;
If you haven’t felt the pain of losing a beloved, you haven’t understood what love is;
If you haven’t thought of your mortality, you haven’t understood what life is.


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